Holy Random Batman

WAZZUPPP FRANS?! I took an EXTRA long weekend and to be honest I'm not too sorry about it. But I'm back and my head is full of random thoughts, so if you're not in the mood to read one of the most random posts on the interwebz then you should probably leave.

Ready? Set. RANDOM.

- So today Kenz and I went to the pool and there were a lot of people. And I hate being around a lot of people when I'm in a bikini. Also the girls in this complex are really bad at hiding their judgmental stares. Like if you're going to judge my paleness, at least be less obvious. Juss sayinnn'.

-  And on the pale note, my legs tan weird. Like my knee cap and up my thighs will get 'tan' but the lower half of my legs are super ghost white and then my feet are kind of tan. I can't figure out what's wrong with me.

- Kenz just left for a job interview in the next town and I already miss her. Best friend problems. I don't know what I will do when she graduates and gets married. I'm going to go insane. With her and Tim gone then eventually Sarah Beth and Chelsea and every one else I know will graduate and I'll still be here for another semester. The struggle.

- I need to write out notes for my blog posts. I will sit down to write and it's never as good as it was the first time I thought about it. Makes me mad.

- I have barely talked to Tim in the past few days. It's been hard, but I knew that this week would be crazy with LoveWeek but still. Ugh.

- I want to get back in the studio but I know it's going to be painful so I keep putting it off. This is no bueno.

- I also really need to get a pedicure...or at least cut my toenails. Sorry if that's too gross for you.

- My tolerance for being is hot is ridiculously low. I hate to be hot. Like I HATE it. So laying out is hard for me. I'd rather play in the water but then I don't get any sun on my legs. Decisions.

- I straightened Kenz's hair for her interview and now my hands smell like fried hair. Ew.

- I miss Tim's hugs. And his laugh. And him making fun of me. Okay lemme stop before I make y'all vomit from the cuteness.

- This post is so useless. I'm gonna stop now.

Okay that's all I have. I hope you guys have a great evening. I'll be back tomorrow with something substantial. Promise.

An Honest Moment

So originally I was going to post pictures that summed up what I had been doing the past few days. However when I started reading through the blogs I follow this morning, I stumbled upon this gem from Belinda over at Found Love, Now What? This first point she made got to me. I have been talking so much game about how I want to be more honest on this here blog and I thought I was doing better, but I'm realizing that I haven't been. So today, I'm going to let you in on some secrets and how I have been feeling lately. The best part: it's not going to matter how many of you read this or how many of you comment. This post is going to be about me letting it all out. So here it goes.

If you've been around this blog for a while, then you know that my boyfriend, Tim, and I are currently embarking on a new journey of being in a long distance relationship, which you can read about here. Now what you may not know is that he has actually returned to NC for the summer due to some circumstances that I will not disclose. He has been here for about a month now. I've seen him only twice due to the fact that I am living in Boone for the summer and he is staying at home in Charlotte.

So what is he doing with all his time? Well, if you live in dear old North Carolina then you probably know what Elevation Church is. Tim is currently volunteering with them and I am so happy with that. He is growing in God and as a result, so is our relationship. His days are filled to the brim with volunteering. Sometimes this is a pain for me, because I don't have anything to fill mine with due to the fact that I only have online classes right now, no money, and no job.

My days are filled with staring at a computer screen, food, and Netflix. Boring, right? Yes. Good, glad we agree on that. I don't get to talk to Tim much during the day so usually I only hear from him at night right before bed. I know that it's only going to get worse when we are both back in school, but right now I am being a total baby about it. I am being needy and annoying and I just can't help it. Well I guess I could but to be truthful I don't want to. I know that this isn't something he can really fix. And God bless him, he really tries to. This is my own insecurity due to past relationships.

My Timothy is not a big texter and because neither of us really ever do anything crazy or adventurous, text conversations are stale for us. Skype or phone calls are usually better, but not by much. I want us to talk more, but we really don't have more to talk about.

Also, today was the first day in LoveWeek 2013 which is done through Elevation and it is a week (July 13-20) all about spreading love through the city of Charlotte. You can learn more about it here, here, and here. (Also feel free to click around all those websites to learn more) So due to the fact that LoveWeek is extensive and time consuming, I will not hear from him until each night if I'm lucky. Now don't take this wrong way. I totally support him volunteering and I totally support LoveWeek. I just miss my boyfriend.

I miss him. I still struggle with not having him 10 minutes away. I miss just being able to text him and say "yo, I'm on my way over." I know this is not going to be easy. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I know it will be hard work. And we are both willing to put in the work. I think the biggest problem is that so many changes have happened that it's hard to find a routine or even a place to begin. When he returns to New York, I want us to be stronger and even more sure than we already are. The problem? I can't figure out where to start.

I have gone so far as to Google advice on long distance relationships. Yes, I Googled that. And everything I got was some superficial, impersonal list of crap that I already knew. A six year old could probably give me better advice than that.

So what is this post supposed to mean? Honestly? I have no clue. This is just me and how my thinking flows. I miss Tim. I am struggling to adjust to the idea of not seeing him or talking to him. I try not to be sad and he is great at making me feel better but sometimes I just want a hug from him or something. I know he loves me, there is no doubt in my mind about that. I know he wants to talk to me more and be with me more. But we both know that it will take time to find a balance.

So there you have it. If any of you guys can offer advice of any kind, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for stopping by, and if you want to connect with me further follow me on Twitter and Instagram!

4 Reasons Why Being A Girl Can Suck

For most of my life I have been a tomboy through and through. Yes, I wear makeup most days. Yes, I like to wear cute clothes sometimes. But most of the time you can find me with my hair in a ponytail wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I like to get dirty and play football and play video games.

There are things that I still struggle with when it comes to being more "girly" because I think they are like an expectation. Like you have to do this to be a girl. No, I'm not a raging feminist but I can agree with some of their thought processes.

So I present to you my top 4 things about being a girl that sucks.

Shaving.
- Like need I go on? I HATE SHAVING! I really detest it. I have gone weeks before without shaving my legs and haven't cared. Usually it takes someone saying something about how hairy they are before I will even consider shaving them.

Hairstyling.
- This one gets me. Like why does my hair always have to be done? Why can't I just walk around with semi-dirty hair and it be a mess? I don't want to straighten or curl my hair all the time. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!. Forrealz.

Must be proper.
- I like to belch. Yes, you read that right. I like to belch. I like to get loud and I think dirty jokes are HEE-HI-LARIOUS! I am not a girl who walks around with great posture and sits like a lady. Nope, not I. And I should never be expected to be all proper all the time. It's just not in my nature.

Soft, hydrated skin.
- Yeah I know this one sounds a little weird, but stick with me. I always see those venus razor commercials or the moisturizer commercials and my first thought is always "man I wish my skin could be like that." I hav always had mostly soft skin but here lately it's be like the Sahara desert over here. And I hate putting lotion on because if I sweat it makes my skin all sticky and weird. Ew. Not attractive.

These are all the things that came to me when I sat down to write this post. If you have more please feel free to share with me. I would love to hear what you guys think. But for right now, Kenz is cooking and it smells good so I'm gonna go eat some food. Catch ya later!