If you've been around this blog for a while, then you know that my boyfriend, Tim, and I are currently embarking on a new journey of being in a long distance relationship, which you can read about here. Now what you may not know is that he has actually returned to NC for the summer due to some circumstances that I will not disclose. He has been here for about a month now. I've seen him only twice due to the fact that I am living in Boone for the summer and he is staying at home in Charlotte.
So what is he doing with all his time? Well, if you live in dear old North Carolina then you probably know what Elevation Church is. Tim is currently volunteering with them and I am so happy with that. He is growing in God and as a result, so is our relationship. His days are filled to the brim with volunteering. Sometimes this is a pain for me, because I don't have anything to fill mine with due to the fact that I only have online classes right now, no money, and no job.
My days are filled with staring at a computer screen, food, and Netflix. Boring, right? Yes. Good, glad we agree on that. I don't get to talk to Tim much during the day so usually I only hear from him at night right before bed. I know that it's only going to get worse when we are both back in school, but right now I am being a total baby about it. I am being needy and annoying and I just can't help it. Well I guess I could but to be truthful I don't want to. I know that this isn't something he can really fix. And God bless him, he really tries to. This is my own insecurity due to past relationships.
My Timothy is not a big texter and because neither of us really ever do anything crazy or adventurous, text conversations are stale for us. Skype or phone calls are usually better, but not by much. I want us to talk more, but we really don't have more to talk about.
Also, today was the first day in LoveWeek 2013 which is done through Elevation and it is a week (July 13-20) all about spreading love through the city of Charlotte. You can learn more about it here, here, and here. (Also feel free to click around all those websites to learn more) So due to the fact that LoveWeek is extensive and time consuming, I will not hear from him until each night if I'm lucky. Now don't take this wrong way. I totally support him volunteering and I totally support LoveWeek. I just miss my boyfriend.
I miss him. I still struggle with not having him 10 minutes away. I miss just being able to text him and say "yo, I'm on my way over." I know this is not going to be easy. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I know it will be hard work. And we are both willing to put in the work. I think the biggest problem is that so many changes have happened that it's hard to find a routine or even a place to begin. When he returns to New York, I want us to be stronger and even more sure than we already are. The problem? I can't figure out where to start.
I have gone so far as to Google advice on long distance relationships. Yes, I Googled that. And everything I got was some superficial, impersonal list of crap that I already knew. A six year old could probably give me better advice than that.
So what is this post supposed to mean? Honestly? I have no clue. This is just me and how my thinking flows. I miss Tim. I am struggling to adjust to the idea of not seeing him or talking to him. I try not to be sad and he is great at making me feel better but sometimes I just want a hug from him or something. I know he loves me, there is no doubt in my mind about that. I know he wants to talk to me more and be with me more. But we both know that it will take time to find a balance.
So there you have it. If any of you guys can offer advice of any kind, I would greatly appreciate it.
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